0bsessions

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0bsessions
Image:Lightsaber.jpg
Real Name: Jonathan
Nickname(s): J0n
Forum Account: Click Here
Gender: Male
Birthday: March 24, 1984
Location: Cambridge, MA, USA

Contents

On the QC Forums

J0n, or 0bsessions as he goes by on the forums, showed up around April of 2007 and was generally accepted as "kind of a prick." He was brought in by Shane from a Red Sox community they both frequented at the time. Some still begrudge Shane for this.

J0n then proceeded to post many an insubstantial post with the occasional gem here or there. He came to some level of noteriety after being partially approved of by Chuck. Chuck had this to say: "God DAMN I love you."[1]

J0n really came into his own (And by that we mean REALLY started to piss people off) when he got his first digital camera. Much cam whoring followed.

Cam Whoring Controversy

Some conflicting opinions on J0n's cam whoring developed. While some marveled in J0n's pure physical beauty, others were not so pleased. Some, even resentful.

Patrick was quoted as saying, "I hate you because you're pretty."[2]

Fortunately, Tommydski stepped in in an effort to quell the rising tide of bitter envy and save the photo thread from J0n's pure sex appeal.[3].

While most rejoiced, some forumites were less than pleased with Tommy's recommendation. "stfu, tommy. there can never be too many photos of jon in the picture thread"[4] a roman pirate was quoted as saying.

For better or worse, J0n's cam whoring came to an abrupt end on December 22, 2007. J0n, while absolutely tanked at a party, dropped his camera and lost track of it. The shutter was severely damaged in the fall and no amount of repair could revive it. J0n's camera was found dead in a Everett, MA living room days later. It was only five months old.

J0n: Kind of a Douche

J0n is known around the forums as being a bit of a prick. While nowhere near as infamous as the likes of Chuck or Kieffer, J0n has had his squabbles. He has, on occasion, been referred to as not "being nice." [5]

Meat Life

J0n lives in the magnificent city of Boston, MA. Despite reports to the contrary by those ill-informed masses, Boston is greater than anywhere else. Ever.

J0n is hot shit and, while many find him conceited, it's actually just true. Bad news for the men of the world.

J0n's musical tastes are almost entirely mainstream, to the point that Tommydski has requested he never bring up music in his presence again.

J0n is also known for currently "sticking it to" Rachel. Fellow forumites hope that Joe Hocking might some day put two and two together on this one.

Unusual Robberies

J0n is prone to dealing with unusual or otherwise infuriatingly stupid instances of robbery and b&e.

The Car Break-In

In late 2003, J0n was dorming at Fitchburg State College in Fitchburg, MA. At approximately 3:30 AM, J0n received a phone call from campus police informing him that his car had been broken into. J0n arrived on the scene to find one of the windows on his two door 1994 Saturn SC1 (Affectionately known as 'Princess') smashed in. Upon investigation, the following articles were missing:

  • CD Deck's face plate
  • Change tray
  • Fifty cents contained therein
  • A small box containing a petrified butterfly that his then girlfriend had given him

The culprit left behind the following:

  • The actual CD deck itself
  • $150 worth of CDs on the visor
  • $300 worth of speakers

The CD deck had been discontinued, so J0n was forced to replace the entire thing. The damages and replacement totaled approximately $400-450. On top of all this, J0n's girlfriend became increasingly depressed as the box was very important to her. They broke up the following Friday.

The Coked Out Preteen

One Saturday afternoon in April, J0n opened the windows in his living room due to the beautiful weather. He then proceeded to sit down in his room to watch the Red Sox drub the Yankees. During a crucial inning, J0n heard what sounded like something falling over. Upon checking on his roommate and discovering him asleep, he continued to the living room. There, J0n discovered a mischievous preteen, in broad daylight, knocking over empty liquor bottles while attempting to climb feet first into his living room, no doubt with nefarious intent.

Before the bungling burglar could so much as get his entire body through the window, J0n, not even thinking, immediately exclaimed "what in the fuck do you think you're doing?" The nefarious preteen, immediately darted his eyes to J0n, turned tail and ran.

The Angry Former Tenant

Upon arriving home from work one summer evening with the intent of setting up his living room to display cable, J0n's roommate Byung approached him mentioning that the former tenant Charles stopped by looking to speak to J0n. Charles was apparently quite aggitated and nervous about something.

J0n journeyed to the living room to discover that his Wii, projector and a few games and DVDs were missing. J0n swiftly approached his roommate. Upon inquiry, Byung noted that he dozed off while Charles was in the apartment.

J0n swiftly called the police to report the theft, making note of all known details. Once the officer left J0n's home, he immediately went to his computer to E-Mail Charles with the accusation. At first, Charles was righteously indignant, claiming something about the security deposit. J0n's immediate response was to fire back that he'd paid the security deposit and held onto the receipt. He then added that the police had been contacted and that he would press charges if his property was not returned by the weekend, charges would be pressed.

The former tenant returned the possessions the following evening and has not been heard from since.

The WHAT THE FUCK?!

Upon arriving home from work on a cold January evening, J0n was again approached by Byung. Byung mentioned that upon leaving for class that afternoon, he noticed J0n's window was wide open. He closed it for him, but noted it was odd.

J0n searched his room to discover that $200 he had hidden under his keyboard was missing...and nothing else! His camcorder, two guitars and computer were not touched. On top of this, there was a digital camera and a bag of illicit substance sitting in plain view next to the money's hiding place. No one but J0n knew of this hiding place. Investigation is ongoing to make sure J0n's not an idiot who misplaced the money, though no progress has been made.

Likes

  • Himself
  • Baseball
  • Comics
  • Bad music
  • Preparing for the inevitable zombie holocaust

Dislikes

  • Zombies
  • Fat people
  • Hockey
  • Bryan

Appearances in Other Media

Dear God, why?

J0n preparing to save all your asses from the zombie horde.
J0n preparing to save all your asses from the zombie horde.

Trivia

  • Would drown members of his extended family for Chick-Fil-A
  • Is more prepared for the zombie holocaust than you are, he's a SURVIVALIST!
  • Has asked for web shooters for every single gift giving occasion since 2002 without fail
  • Has been disappointed every birthday and Christmas since 2002
  • Once RAWKED OUT with Shane
  • Enjoys superfluous Links [6]
  • Does not find Huda all that intimidating
  • Kicked the aforementioned Huda in the vagoo because Daniel asked nicely
  • Is kind of a douche[7]
  • Escaped the Great Greg Dulli Image Epidemic of '08 unscathed
  • Would make a great mod [8]
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